God Gave Me A Second Chance
by xperfectisboringx
Summary: Ziva's thoughts while she is trapped in Africa. God has gave her a second chance so many times before, and he gives her another one. She is scared of how many more second chances she has left. A lot better than it sounds.


**A/N: Okay, I decided that I would write something a little different. It is only two paragraphs, but I really do like this. I am a HUGE believer in God, so I thought that this would be a really good time to use God in my fanfic's. So, basically, Ziva is trapped on the ship in Somilia, Horn of Africa, and these are her thoughts to what is going on inside her, and what is going on around her. It tells about her family, and how much of a monster that her father has turned into. **

**Summary: Ziva is still trapped on the terriorts ship. Her thoughts are amazing. God is going to give Ziva a second chance. He has gave her so many before, she does not realize how lucky she really is.**

**I love this, and I hope that everyone who reads it, does too! =) Please, Review, Review, Review. It would make me super happy on this fanfic. This is my favorite of all time. For all of the people who are hoping that Ziva pulls out of this situation she is in, you will love this! I am happy to all who will read this, and review.**

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_God Gave Me A Second Chance._

_I cannot fight anymore. I am giving up. I need to get back home, but my body can no longer hold out. I have suffered enough, and for what? To go back to the people that does not even trust me anymore? They do not need me, and I know they do not want me, so why should I fight anymore? It is hard enough going through what I use to, but the is so much worse. If they only knew what kind of man my father was. He was a man that loved to kill, to kill his childern, to kill his family, and to kill everyone's hopes and dreams. Maybe that's why I ended up being like I am. A cold-hearted, emotionless, person. I thought I had changed, but my father would have never allowed that. He sent Michael to me, to bring me back to him. I should have known from the start, but I did not. I had asked him was it real, but he had not given me an answer that I had wanted. I knew it was not, but I had not believed Tony, because of my stupid father. He had wanted me back at Mossad, but only for him to watch me die. That is all he wanted. That is all he had ever wanted from me. He killed my brother and sister, youngest to oldest, I guess. Look, he killed my sister, Tali. She was only 16. Next, he killed Ari. He was 21. And then there is me, I am 30. I should have believed Tony, but I choose not to trust him after he killed Michael. I thought I had been in love with him, but really I was not. Everytime I search my heart now, all I can find is Tony. But, I am losing the battle that my father started on me. There is no turning back, there is no taking back what I said, there is no taking back how broken I am. I cannot hold out. I wish I could, for NCIS sake, but it is just not that easy for me. When I had came to America, I became weak with my skills, my father knew that, so he had decided that he would send me to finish what Michael started, he wanted me dead. And Tony had thought that Michael had been the one to play me, it was my father. He caused all of this. Sometimes I wish I were never born, never had a sister or brother, never been apart of the same family, and sometimes I wish I could get to my father to kill him before I die, but he knew I would have thought of that, so he sent me on this suicide mission. My father did not want to die, and he knew I would eventually kill him if he did not get to me first. Looks like he has won this time. I cannot fight. I can no longer hold out. The man just walked back in, and I felt him punch me, but I could barely feel it. I do not know what was happening to me. I tried to think I was not dying, because now I wanted to live, but I could not tell what was going on around me. I think I was slowly passing. I prayed that I could get out of here. God had answered my prayers. I know he had. I felt no pain, no hurt. I no longer felt broken. I felt as if my whole life was a clock, and time had stopped completely._

_What was going on? I had thought to myself. If only I knew what God had in store for me. If only I knew what he was going to do with my life at the moment. Was he going to let me live? Or let me into Heaven? I only hoped that it was one of those two options. Maybe he had wanted me in Heaven, to be with my other family. Times like these I wondered if my other family had went to Heaven? I prayed that I could be forgiven for everything that I had done. I prayed that God would forgive me for all of my sins. I could not imagine my life without God. My father would hate me for that, but it was the truth. My mom had taught me all about that when I was younger. My father never would listen to her, and he should have to pay for that. Why had he not? I would never know. Could he ever understand? I do not think so, because he was a killer. I use to think that the devil had got to him, and I still do believe that. I use to pray for him, I use to ask my father why he would not change, but he only walked the other way when I asked him. I knew then that my father would pay. And I knew he should have to. He has killed my family. I asked God why my father had been like that. And I got the answer that I knew was the truth; he had let the devil get into him. All I had wanted my whole life was the perfect family, but my father had messed all of that_ _up for my family. I also knew, that nobody is perfect. Everybody is equal in God's eyes. My mother had taught me that. She was a lady that was full of belief's, and I was glad to be like her, but after my father had her killed, I had to be forced to do everything. I was only hoping to get out of that situation. And God answered my prayers about that, too. He had pulled me out of my father's command, and put me into America to be with new people that I only knew from background check's that had ran on them. I had not trusted anyone at the time, but God had told me it was okay to trust those people. So, I did. And I had accepted them as a true family. I betrayed everyone around me, even God. I could not believe what I had done. I had turned my back on everyone, and then I ended up in Africa. I was tied to a chair, I was bleeding, I was hurting, I was broken. But, God has given me a second chance, again. I do not know how many more second chances I will get, but for right now, this is all I need. I want to thank God for putting me back on my feet. Helping me walk again, when I had a dought in my mind that I never would again. Thank you, God, for giving me those second chances._

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**A/N: Okay, so tell me what you think? For everyone who reviews this fic, it really does mean a lot to me. =) And I really do mean that. As always, if you review, I will review one of yours. I am always happy to read a good fanfic, and review! Even if you just read this and add it to your Favorite's List, it will make me happy, but I would really like to hear you thoughts on this one.**

**And thanks to all who has put up with me on my other fics! You all are amazing!**


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